Day 2 almost didn't happen.

Day two of this blog almost didn't happen, and I was going to beat myself up for it, so here I am doing it.  I suppose that's OK.  I find that I need to look at myself and how I treat myself with a little levity.  I certainly need to take what I do to myself seriously, but I won't get there by beating myself up for beating myself up.  I have to look at it and laugh or be amused rather than hate it.  I have to accept it.  Yes, that's what I fucking do - I set stupid standards for myself that I loathe not meeting.  Why do I do this to myself?  I had this huge lurking fear that if I didn't suck it up and start on day 2, I'd never write another entry.  Totally rational.  Totes.

Today I hung out with my friends Sarah and Andy rather than go to Target and do other various things I needed to do.  But I'm OK with that as I don't make that choice every day.  It also just felt really nice to hang with them and have fun without Eric.  I try to embrace those opportunities because they occur only infrequently. 

Today as I put on makeup to simply go to Target, I tried to embrace that side of myself rather than worry about whether or not I was renegging on my plan to be more deconstructed.  Thing is, I had some new eye makeup that I really wanted to keep experimenting with.  and that's ok.  that really is OK.  I have to let that be OK.  Tomorrow I may not feel like makeup and that has to be OK too. I guess that really is the point - to question myself less and accept myself more. 

Last night we hung out with conor and yoshi, and yoshi mentioned how she had to untag herself in one of my photos.  I started to hate myself for even posting it, then i thought, nope, that was my decision, and I did the best I could at editing and creating a "real" album, and if others don't like something, they need to speak up.  I have to let others take care of themselves and leave room for the fact that my choices won't be perfect. 

YOU'RE NOT PERFECT, SO JUST EMBRACE ALL YOUR IMPERFECTIONS!  People will love and like you anyway! (this is me yelling at myself.)